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You might be a writer

I must be a big fan of Jeff Foxworthy.  Either that or he is innately spoofable.  This is the second time I find myself spoofing his hilarious “You might be a redneck” jokes.  Except this time it’s “you might be a writer”.  I am sure this list is far from exhaustive, so please feel free to add your own thoughts to the comments, and feel free to share with your friends on FaceBook and Twitter so they can add theirs to the comments, too.

HINT: These are a lot more fun if you imagine them being delivered in Jeff Foxworthy’s voice.  Here is an example.

 

If your thank-you notes typically run on for 14 pages, you might be a writer.

If you edit the ingredients list on cracker boxes at the grocery store, you might be a writer.

If you fight insomnia by counting typos, you might be a writer.

If you ask your child whether the new kid in school is the protagonist or the antagonist, you might be a writer.

If you feel that your life is dull because it lacks flashbacks, you might be a writer.

If your-hate list includes Wordless Wednesday blogs and music CDs with no lyrics, you might be a writer.

If you’ve ever stood up in church to correct the preacher’s grammar, you might be a writer.

If you said “But the book was so much better!” after seeing The Matrix, you might be a writer. (Look it up for yourself!)

If you prefer closed caption TV because they broadcast the screenplay, you might be a writer.

If you tell your child to redo his math homework to make it more compelling to the audience, you might be a writer.

If you avoid drinking milk because yogurt has more culture, you might be a writer.

NOTE: The following video is part of the post.  “Read” it next.

 

If you buy a jacket only when there is a “blurb” on the back, you might be a writer.

If you’ve ever staged a sit-in over the inappropriate use of a comma, you might be a writer.

If you autograph the magazines in the rack at the checkout counter, you might be a writer.

If a whole shelf on your bookcase is dedicated to books with your name on them, you might be a writer.

If your reaction to a designer dress at the mall is “Who wrote that?”, you might be a writer.

If you prepare an outline before telling your spouse about your day, you might be a writer.

If you’ve ever called out the President of Honda for misspelling “Infiniti”, you might be a writer.

If you hold back crucial scheduling details from your family to keep them in suspense, you might be a writer.

If you fantasize about typewriters, you might be a writer.

typewriter

If you even know what a typewriter is, you might be a writer.

If click here favorite part of vacation is “booking” the flight, you might be a writer.

If you can’t wait for them to make a movie out of Roget’s Thesaurus, you might be a writer.

And if you are still reading this long-winded post, you are obviously a writer.

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