Monthly Archives: January 2013

Wordy Wednesday – Hagrid moonlights

I can’t really tell you how it started. One of my daughters is a huge Harry Potter fan. One day, she stumbled upon Potter Puppet Pals, a series of puppet shows on Youtube. At the end of this post are a couple examples, in case you are interested.

I always tell a story to my kids at night; even when I am too tired, they won’t let me off for a night. I always make the stories up on the spot.

At some point, they asked me to tell a Potter Puppet Pals story, which evolved a bit in my telling so that both Harry and Ron have squeaky voices, Hagrid often falls out of the sky at random times crushing various characters (but mostly Harry), Snape gets no respect and Lord Voldemort is a silly character (building on the great Mustache Buddies tradition from the “real” Potter Puppet Pals – see second video below).

For Wordy Wednesday, (my personal protest against “Wordless Wednesday” blog posts), I thought I would share with you one recent story – shorter than most, was nevertheless one of the better ones. I am not normally a screenplay writer (although I have a couple good ones in my employ), but here is how it goes:

Hagrid sells Kleenex door-to-door

(Harry and Ron greet each other)

HARYY: What are you up to Ron?

RON: Not much, Harry? How about you?

HARRY: Nothing. Hey, here comes Hagrid. And this time he’s on foot!

(Enter Hagrid)

HAGRID: Y’aright, Harry? Ron?

HARRY: Hey Hagrid, what are you doing walking into the scene? Is that in the script?

HAGRID: Got myself a new job, I did.

HARRY: What, you got fired?

HAGRID: No, nothin’ like that. Just makin’ some extra cash on the side as a door-to-door Kleenex salesman.

HARRY AND RON: A what?

HAGRID: A door-to-door Kleenex salesman.

RON: But where’s the money in trucking around huge boxes of Kleenex that sells for…what, a dollar?

HAGRID: Just one box. This one is enough.

RON: What?

HAGRID: Need a Kleenex? Twelve dollars for one.

HARRY: Twelve dollars for a box?

HAGRID: Twelve boxes for a tissue.

HARRY: But Hagrid, who’s going to pay twelve dollars for a tissue?

HAGRID: Well, I…uh…I can’t be givin’ away trade secrets, now, can I? But I have…uh…found a market.

(Enter Snape, Hagrid recedes to a corner)

SNAPE: I see we have here that obnoxious Potter kid and his Weasley sidekick.

HARRY: We love you, too, Snapy Baby.

SNAPE: Harrumph.

HARRY: So much so that I kissed you in your sleep. And may I say that those lipstick marks on your cheek are very becoming.

SNAPE: That’s it. I’ve had enough of your driveling insolence. Fortunately, I have just concocted a wonderful potion of my own design that will teach you a lesson.

(Snape sprinkles some potion on Harry and Ron.)

SNAPE: Gesundheit. Heh, heh.

(Snape exits.)

HARRY: Ah…ah…ah-choo!

RON: Nose itches…

HARRY: Mine is getting all puffy…

RON: Need Kleenex…

(Hagird steps forward)

HAGRID: Kleenex? One for twelve dollars.

END

I hope you like it as much as my daughters (and their cats) did.

Postscript. I rarely follow up one day’s story with a sequel, but the next day the “Kleenex salesman” returned selling anti-dragon-bite pills.

 

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Lyrics – The Ent and the Entwife (with video)

Another Wordy Wednesday in protest of all those “Wordless Wednesday” blog posts out there. I was re-reading J.R.R Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings (for what, the fourth time?) and found myself at the song of “The Ent and the Entwife”, sung by Treebeard to Merry and Pippin in The Two Towers.

Unlike most of the songs in Lord of the Rings, which I find tend to slow the story down as I stumble to pronounce all the names, I find this song a pleasure to read. In fact, this song strikes me as a classic love song, perhaps the most classic of them all. What a beautiful story it tells, if you care to read through to the end.

I would love to share the lyrics with you today, which I have done below. I was also able to find a recording someone* has put to music in the video below.

 

If you need lyrics written for a song, let us know.

 


* someone is “the Tolkien Ensemble”

The Ent and the Entwife

Ent:

When spring unfolds the beechen-leaf and sap is in the bough,
When light is on the wild-wood stream, and wind is on the brow,
When stride is long, and breath is deep, and keen the mountain air,
Come back to me! Come back to me, and say my land is fair!

Entwife:

When Spring is come to garth and field, and corn is in the blade,
When blossom like a shining snow is on the orchard laid,
When sun and shower upon the earth with fragrance fill the air,
I’ll linger here, and will not come, because my land is fair!

Ent:

When Summer lies upon the world, and in a noon of gold
Beneath the roof of sleeping leaves the dreams of trees unfold,
When woodland halls are green and cool, and wind is in the West,
Come back to me! Come back to me, and say my land is best!

Entwife:

When Summer warms the hanging fruit and burns the berry brown;
When straw is gold, and ear is white, and harvest comes to town;
When honey spills, and apple swells, though wind be in the West,
I’ll linger here beneath the Sun, because my land is best!

Ent:

When Winter comes, used rolex watch winter wild that hill and wood shall slay;
When trees shall fall and starless night devour the sunless day;
When wind is in the deadly East, then in the bitter rain
I’ll look for thee, and call to thee; I’ll come to thee again!

Entwife:

When Winter comes, and singing ends; when darkness falls at last;
When broken is the barren bough, and light and labour past;
I’ll look for thee, and wait for thee, until we meet again:
Together we will tkae the road beneath the bitter rain!

Both:

Together we will take the road that leads into the West,
And far away will find a land where both our hearts may rest.

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Scriptless with Chantalyne

For Wordy Wednesday, I present to you a “Scriptless” episode co-starring Chantalyne. Name Your Tune is scriptless because no script – no screenplay – was ever written. An idea was presented and discussed. Three or four takes were filmed. Then it was off to post-production and the cutting room floor, where Eric Greer and some of his colleagues put it all together. Actually, in a way this is almost more of a Wordless Wednesday than a Wordy Wednesday.

I am proud of Chantalyne, her first time co-staring in a film.

For the record, you don’t have to go scriptless yourself. We have plenty of good screenplay writers you can hire if you have an idea for a feature film that Hollywood really should know about.

Enjoy this scriptless episode…

Please note that this video has also been cross-posted at http://self-help.thehappyguy.com/2013/01/09/name-your-tune/

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