David Leonhardt’s SEO and Social Media Marketing

I’ve always enjoyed Jeff Foxworthy and his “you might be a redneck” jokes, so…

Most SEO specialists seem to live in big metropolitan cities like Boston or London or Toronto. Not me. I live out here in the sticks. Which I guess makes me a bit of a redneck SEO, so…

If you think you might be a redneck SEO, I have devised this handy little test, with 50 signs that you might be a redneck SEO. Please feel free to share this with your friends colleagues and even friendly city-folk you might know. And don’t be shy to add to this list if there are important signs I missed.

By the way, it helps to imagine Jeff Foxworthy’s voice when you read these. Here is a video of Jeff Foxworthy doing his you-might-be-a-redneck routine to get you in the mood (Sorry, they turned off embedding on this, but the link is good.)…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sKtkdDJe5s&NR=1

Top 50 signs that you might be a redneck SEO

1. If Yahoo! Is something you holler when your horseshoe rings the post, you might be a redneck SEO.
2. If you’ve ever tried to change the transmission in your computer, you might be a redneck SEO.
3. If you don’t Digg because digging sounds too hippyish, you might be a redneck SEO.
4. If your idea of link-building is getting a longer chain for your wallet, you might be a redneck SEO.
5. If you have to put on boots to go out to your home office, you might be a redneck SEO.
6. If you look for scraper sites to clean the bottom of your boots, you might be a redneck SEO.
7. If you find on-page optimization a challenge because you can’t write on your computer screen, you might be a redneck SEO.
8. If you think GrayWolf, theGypsy and Neoblog are race horses, you might be a redneck SEO.
9. If you spit for good luck before you click “submit website”, you might be a redneck SEO.
10. If you re-use your spit … never mind. Next!
11. If you don’t like title tags ‘cause titles are for uppity city folk, you might be a redneck SEO.
12. If you like to Sphinn your partner at the local barn dance, you might be a redneck SEO.
13. If you refuse to take on a client with a pink website, you might be a redneck SEO.
14. If your other Mac is a truck, you might be a redneck SEO.
15. If you prefer black hat SEO because real men don’t wear white, you might be a redneck SEO.
16. If you have a Dukes of Hazard screensaver , you might be a redneck SEO.
17. If wonder just what blade Matt cutts with, you might be a redneck SEO.
18. If you agree that bounce rates are becoming a big SEO issue because gopher holes are damaging your ATV, you might be a redneck SEO.
19. If every time a client mentions conversions you shout “Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!”, you might be a redneck SEO.
20. If the words “viral content” send you running to the barn ‘cause you lost some 30 chickens to a flu bug last spring, you might be a redneck SEO.
21. If you don’t care for link bait but you sure would love to help your client with his trout bait, you might be a redneck SEO.
22. If you place the “home” button on your website between the “barn” button and the “outhouse” button, you might be a redneck SEO.
23. If the word “blog” sounds just messy to you, you might be a redneck SEO.
24. If you think Twitter is where they send all the twits, you might be a redneck SEO (but you can follow this SEO at @amabaie.)
25. If a “search engine” means the 4 x 4 you take to chase away the foxes, you might be a redneck SEO.
26. If you say you work from a mobile device and mean that you work from your home, you might be a redneck SEO.
27. If you try to trap your mouse with cheese or peanut butter, you might be a redneck SEO.
28. If you bill clients not by the hour, not by the links, not by the rankings, but by the six-packs consumed, you might be a redneck SEO.
29. If your home page is set to Auto Trader or Monster Auto, you might be a redneck SEO.
30. If adding video to your computer means buying an eight-track player, you might be a redneck SEO.
31. If you think Sticky SEO is when you drop your keyboard in the pig pen, you might be a redneck SEO.
32. If your office wall is decorated in very tasteful velvet Elvis, you might be a redneck SEO.
33. If you bring your laptop to the family reunion hoping an eligible cousin will sit on it, you might be a redneck SEO.
34. If your favorite ringtone goes ma-aa-aa-aa, you might be a redneck SEO.
35. If your personal assistant also goes ma-aa-aa-aa, you might be a redneck SEO.
36. If your car sports a worn bumper sticker reading “SEO or bust”, you might be a redneck SEO.
37. If you wear jeans and a toothpick to a client presentation, you might be a redneck SEO.
38. If your computer desk demonstrates that you are an environmentally aware operation because it is built from a used outhouse, you might be a redneck SEO.
39. If you have more than one tattoo on your butt reading “SEO”, you might be a redneck SEO.
40. If you sing in the shower “Thank God I’m an SEO Boy”, you might be a redneck SEO.
41. If you own one computer that runs and five cars that don’t, you might be a redneck SEO.
42. If you try to buy used links at the local flea market, you might be a redneck SEO.
43. If your Avatar at Zoomit Canada is a picture of your belt buckle, you might be a redneck SEO.
44. If organic search is what you do when you lose a rifle in the corn field, you might be a redneck SEO.
45. If don’t do SEO contests, but would rather like to try an SEO drag race, you might be a redneck SEO.
46. If you think sites rank well because they have “#1” in the title tag, you might be a redneck SEO.
47. If you ask your clients to pay with ammunition or fireworks, you might be a redneck SEO.
48. If you respect motherhood, apple pie and meta tags, you might be a redneck SEO.
49. If your idea of social media is a telephone – the kind with a dial that turns, you might be a redneck SEO.
50. If you think a cell phone is what you do when you don’t need a telephone with a dial that turns anymore … you might be right!

I hope you enjoyed this little test to see if you are a redneck SEO. Did you pass? Really? Great, welcome to the club. And if you come up with any other signs that I have missed, please add them to the comments below.

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This entry was posted on Monday, January 5th, 2009 at 6:55 pm and is filed under SEO. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.